I am addicted ...

to my scales and I have to break the habit. I am sick of my emotions being ruled by the damn numbers on the iffy scales! Bugger them. I am breaking the cycle. After saying I wasn't going to weigh myself this week I have every day so far. The scales are not my friend - they are not going up but they control how my day goes and I am sick of it. The scales are gone .... away ... out of my sight ...! (at least for a few days surely!). I am going to make a conscious effort from now on to not weigh myself - I am going to see how many days I can handle it before I break and go running back to them, begging them for forgiveness :0)

I still am very fluey and am coughing like crazy. I didn't sleep much at all last night - had a temp, coughing and just generally couldn't get to sleep. I hate that. I don't feel tired at all today though which is one good thing - will probably hit me tomorrow like a brick (or a set of scales being chucked out the window!)

Eating has been a lot better today - am going to use my 20 points but I have had one container of point free salad with an egg and some corn chucked in, chicken and mushroom pasta and a banana for lunch and am cooking up some chickens pieces and organising another salad for tea. Much better choices today than previously!

I had yet more compliments at work today about my weight! Fantastic! It is definately one part of losing weight that I enjoy although for someone who never accepts compliments it is quite hard!

Anyway it is a brief post tonight as I have the house to myself for a short time and plan to get into some serious housework (I love housework! - that just goes to show how fucked I am - I am addicted to scales and doing housework! :0) )

catch yas later ....



Points FTD: 20
Exercise: 3 x 10 minute walks plus 15 minutes at lunch time (45 mins total)
TTIO: the scales addiction
TIGF: time in the house to myself every now and then!

Ugh ....

I have the flu! Bugger. Half the people at work have the flu and took the day off which means the people who went to work with the flu (me!) had to work 3 times as hard! Hate that! It did mean the day went quicker though which isn't bad.
I didn't feel like eating well today and I didn't feel like exercising but at the end of the day I did quite well. I know that I need to plan my meals a lot better so I am eating the right sort of diet - some days I do stick within points but my food intake is actually appalling! I might set that as a goal for next week but up until then try and improve on it.
I still haven't packed for C2's camp yet! God I am unorganised. His clothes are still drying by the fire (nearly ready) but won't take me long to pack him in the morning. He is so excited which is great. He used to get a very rough time at school and was bullied a lot but lately he seems to have 'come into his own' and is finding things a lot easier!
I don't really have much more to say .... so I am going to go have a hot shower and climb into my pjs, snuggle up with my beloved BF and have an early night...

cyas tomorrow

Points Used FTD: 20
Exercise: 3 x 10 minute walks
TTIO: planning my meals better
TIGF: a nice warm fire and fluffy pjs

Trumpets ........

Not the musical instruments .. the mint flavoured ones with the icecream and the chocolate ... yes indeed mint Trumpets .... bugger! ......... and a pinky bar ... damn!

So my points are shot for the day but I did exercise for 2 hours (walk with the family and a soccer ball).

Having salad for tea ....

am borrowing Margaret's idea (thanks Margaret):

Points FTD: toooooo many!
Exercise: 2 hour walk
Things to Improve On: eating Trumpets and Pinky Bars! (well what else could I say!)
Things to be Thankful For: walking hand in hand with my beloved BF

Lazy Sunday

Thought I would do a quick recap of last weeks efforts:

* Tracked 6 days
* Was under 20 points 4 days, slightly over 1 day, well over 2! ...oops!
* Didn't go to gym but ...
* Did one hour gym work out lugging firewood logs up a bank ...
* And did a total of 8 hours and 5 minutes walking .. wahoo!

Am quite pleased with my efforts but I fell off the track again yesterday. I didn't eat too badly but ate far to much (oops actually fish and chips in the park for lunch yesterday was bad eh!) ... I woke up this morning and had my healthy pita bread pizza for breakfast ... yes breakfast! and started getting the 'damn I have stuffed up my eating for the weekend so I may as well have a huge roast for tea tonight' thoughts. You know the ones eh!?

Then I read Paulines journal, especially the bit where she said suggested that we don't need to wait for the next day to eat healthy again .. make the next meal a good one ... so I have decided to have ham and salad for tea tonight! You rock Pauline!

I have the flu so don't know if I will get out for a walk today but I have so much housework to do, a million work shirts to iron plus I also wanted to add some links to this. C2 is off to his first camp for school this week so we have to pack for him. So much to do so little time!

My goals for this week from today (until next Sunday)

* Go to the gym twice
* Walk 7 hours
* Track every day
* Stay within points everyday
* Stay positive

and the big one .............. I am not going to weigh myself until Friday! The scales are hidden in a secret location (the cupboard) and they are not coming out! I am addicted to weighing myself and it is annoying. My moods revolve around the numbers on that bloody thing and I hate it. I have to be brave and break the weighing cycle :o)

Those goals look pretty good to me!

So I am off to figure out how many points were in my pizza from this morning and get stuck into a brand new WW week ...............

Have a good Sunday afternoon everyone ....

cya

PS The All Blacks rock and their haka rocks also! .. and they don't look bad in shorts either!

Thank God it is ......

weigh in day! Guess what! I am 97kgs! I have lost 2kgs since Saturday! Am I pleased with that? Oh I think I am ....!!!!!

The sun is shining today, it is Friday and I get to wear jeans to work ..... things aren't quite so bad! ....

.... off to work ...

catch yas later!

If you have sensitive ears ....

then perhaps it is advisable not to read ... this is an R18 due to inappropriate language ... FUCK .... FUCK ... FUCK ... (well I warned you) .....

this isn't to do with weight loss this is to do with me trying to let out steam ... it is too dark to go out pounding the streets, the gym is closed, everyone is in bed so I have to get this all out somehow! .. like I said FUCK FUCK FUCK ....

I don't know what to write .. and I don't know where to start .. and without all the background it just sounds trivial ... but the background is too long and it isn't trivial at all ....

I don't know what to do .... I have to make a phone call tomorrow and I am not sure I can do it ...

I am not sure I can talk about it ... I just wanna say FUCK .......

less bbbblllleeecccchhhhh ... a bit better

sorry for my ramblings last night .... I did wake up this morning and things seemed not so bad .... as Katey said 'daylight will peep through a very small hole' ....

I decided I was not going to overeat today because things were not going well for me at home .. in fact I walked for 2 hours all up today and stayed on track. I even went for a walk this evening (before tea) while C2 (my son) was at tai kwon do and managed to have money in my pocket, be hungry and walk past Maccas, KFC, Subway, pizza and about half a dozen fish and chip shops .... do you think I stopped and bought anything? ... I don't think so .... I was determined not to eat junk food. I was so bloody determined to stay on track today! My hips are going to love me for that! :-)

I have decided on the weekend to add some links to my blog which will be exciting. I have so many journals I read everyday ... my partner must get so sick of me - I am always doing the whole 'hey so-and-so lost so many kilos this week', 'guess what so-and-so made it to goal' ... on and on ... and I would like to acknowledge them by adding there links to this. But as we know I am computer stupid so it is definately going to be a half day, few glasses of beer job!

Talking about acknowledging .. I would like to send a big *hug* out to all the bloggers who are having a really tough time this week ... Katey, Just for Jo, Karen (to name a few) ... my family are big believers in the powers of positive thinking so I am sending every one out a massive positive thought right now :o)

Catch yas 2mrw

Bbbllleeecccchhhhhhh .....

.... I don't know if that is a word but that is how I feel .... some times I have days where everything clicks smoothly into place and I feel on top of the world .... today was not one of those days .....

... so what happens when I have one of those days boys and girls? I overeat ... that is right .. I bloody overeat ..... ok I don't think I did too much damage ... mostly because at home I have no junk food ..... but I still ate too much and I feel kinda down about it ... but on the other hand did 40 minutes of walking today and the rest of the week has been great so .... I dunno ......

Just really has been a tough day ....

.... my partner and I have what we call a mixed up, stirred together and spat back out again family - probably quite normal these days really - we both have children each but not together (I have one and he has a few) - his child (14 yrs old) came to live with us at the start of this year. Without going too much into detail his son was 'removed' from his mothers home because of a number of things happening and put into our home. We did a lot of convincing, arguing and begging (and crying and yelling) with the authorities to get him where he is now ... we have been to meetings, to conferences to court and he was eventually put in our care. His mother is uncaring, inadequate and thinks that if she buys her children what ever they want they will always love her (it works by the way) .... so the son (I am going to call him C1 cos 'the child' or 'the son' sounds stupid) has lived for 14 years with all the mod-cons - big screen tvs, sky tv, computers, playstations, game boys, x boxes, movies every weekend, KFC and Maccas on tap ..... but he has lived without a proper environment (the mothers house is disgusting), without proper clothes, had to share a bedroom with 3 other children, his schooling and his development was neglected .... get the picture .... he gets put with us. We have a tv the size of a microwave, we don't have a playstation or X-box, we have one computer and my son is allowed one hour on it each week (if he behaves), we don't eat takeaways except very rarely for a treat .. but we love him, we care for him, we take interest in what he does, we are involved in his education and we have fun with him ... or so we thought .... C1 is bored, he wants to go back and live with his mother because we have a small TV, we only let him use the computer for an hour and we make him eat vegetables ..... he wants to go home because he has nothing to do ... and because we won't let him have a cellphone .. we are gay and we don't care ...... he doesn't tell us this - he just writes letters to his mother (we are entitled as guardians to read his mail btw!) and complains about us but is nice to our faces ... I hate it ... we found another letter tonight .... we don't know what to do.

We have put everything we have into C1 in the last 9 months. We have battled so hard for this ..... we have stood in court and had to justify why we show too much affection in front of the children (because it makes them uncomfortable), we have had to explain to the judge that we shower together because it is the only time we ever get together, we have had to explain to them why we occassionally argue .. fuck I have even had to justify why my parents are vegetarians and why they won't let C1 have meat at their place when he goes for tea ... and still it isn't enough .... fuck fuck fuck ...


I am off to shower and then sleep .. can't eat while I sleep



Good night!

Can you really turn orange ...

from eating to many carrots? :OP

..... seriously! ... I have been eating a lot of carrots .... I love carrots .... but I am worried about the effect it will have on my colouring. I don't want to be orange! I would look too funny!

.... so apart from eating more raw carrots today I had quite a successful Monday. I tracked everything again and at the end of the day I am 5 1/2 points under. Might have some dessert later but I am so full! Walked for an hour and 5 minutes today which I was pleased with. At lunch time I needed to by apples for my boys for their lunches - instead of walking 2 minutes from work to the supermarket, I walked to the one about 20 mins away (and up a hill!) Yay for me.

My weight loss has been the start of many conversations at work ... sometimes I like it (especially the compliments) but sometimes it pisses me off ...... the local bakery brings around baskets of food at morning tea for people to buy and eat ... I eat carrots ... the person beside me (no names!) buys three things usually for morning tea alone .... cakes, sausage rolls, pastries etc ... typical conversation .....

Neighbour 'Oh you aren't having anything again .... you are doing so well' (devouring her sausage roll)
Nancy 'Thanks'
Neighbour 'How are you managing to lose so much weight?' (munching on a cream donut)
Nancy 'I watch what I eat'
Neighbour 'really?' - totally bewilderment on her face - looks confused as if she can't figure out how I can lose weight by watching what I eat .... as she inhales a custard square!

or ......

Neighbour 'why are you eating carrots again'
Nancy 'because I am still trying to lose weight'
Neighbout 'you should have them with dip or cottage cheese ... they are much nicer!'
Nancy ... smacks her head against brick wall!

Are some people just stupid? ... or is it just me .... can they not understand that I am losing weight because I am jumping up every bloody break to walk around the block and that I no longer go to the snack box ... I don't even go in the same room as it .... I don't buy anything from the bakery ladies anymore ...... ! Sheesh it ain't rocket science!

Anyway ....... can I really turn orange? ... am kinda worried about that one!

catch yas tomorrow ..... :-)

Almost perfect ....

but not quite!

Oops!

Am extremely pleased with the way the weekend went ... until tonight ..... but I am still really pleased anyway .. if that makes sense.
I tracked everything I ate, I passed on the ice cream for dessert last night!, went for another walk today for an hour (which brought my total of walking to 3 1/2 hours for the weekend! - half of my weekly goal already), then spent an hour lugging firewood logs up the hill at my parents farm! Wow - that was a workout all in itself! It was great ... and then my mother (who is also dieting) decided to shout us fish and chips for tea! Fantastic! I didn't have a huge helping and really I don't feel guilty about it. By my standards my weekend eating has been a vast improvement on my previous attempts and I know also I will be sticking to the points for the rest of the week.
I have already organised my lunch for tomorrow so I will go for a walk in the gardens near work and eat my salad and pork pita pocket! Yum! I was getting myself into a nice routine last week of going for a ten minute walk during my morning and afternoon tea breaks - manage to walk past the local pool, along a park which runs beside a creek, then back down the main street .. not only a nice break from walk but also exercise.

This week is going to be so good and my weigh in results are hopefully going to show this. I so know I am going to do this! Once I stick to the whole points/exercise combo the weight does generally fall off ... I know I am still 10 kgs away from goal weight but I feel it is so close I can almost taste the success .........

Better dash and get ready for work ... is it really Monday tomorrow? If we all pretend that tomorrow is Sunday can we have another day off?

PS ...... bonus points question - how many bonus points is a half hour session of martial arts?

Catch ya 2morrow .... :o)

My name is Nancy and I .....

am not a professional blog designer. This is my second version cos the first one I totally fucked up! (mind my language!). I always thought I was quite capable around computers but I obviously am not. This is not my true vocation!
I think my site is looking rather pretty though (the second version!) ....

So I just 'did it anyway' and went for another walk this afternoon bringing my walking total for the day to 2 1/2 hours! Am quite proud of that wee effort. Remarkably for a Saturday my eating has been good as well. Am sitting on around 16 points at the moment (am still adding up my tea!). I am hoping that starting the eating week on a Saturday will help me out - usually I start off with a hiss and a roar but stuff up towards the end of the week. My weekends are always going to be the challenge so am hoping I will be so positive about the week ahead that I will reduce the danger.

Am off to have a nice hot shower, get my beloved BF to scrub my back, climb into my fluffy pjs and watch a movie .. with no snacks!

Cya :o)

Branches, Trees and the Stars ...

There has been some debate in the extended household about my goal weight. Some are saying that the 60s would mean I looked too thin but I just want to get there. I am not sure where in the 60s I want to get to so my goal weight is really undecided at the moment.I saying come into my mind this morning though and I thought it kinda fitted in with my thinking lately. My ex-boss always used to tell me to aim high. He said that if I aimed for the branches of a tree I would be lucky to make it to the trunk but if I aimed for the highest branches I would be able to see the stars. So I am going to aim for the 60s and see what happens when I get there. Hopefully by then I will be able to see that stars :-)I have had a really positive start today - being a Saturday it is impossible to sleep! Why is it when I can actually lie in bed and relax I always wake up earlier than normal! Grr. So instead of relaxing I was wide awake, got up and went for an hour long walk. Fantastic! It was a beautiful morning - I am lucky enough to live not only near a river but a beach as well! Walked for an hour and trying to convince the faimly to take another stroll this afternoon. My eating is on track, my dinner is almost planned and I have even been playing with my weights this afternoon. All in all a great start (especially for a weekend!)Off to get the whanau off their arses and out pounding the streets.
As Amelia says "do it anyway!!!

Catch yas later

So ....... :-)

Hi ...... So... ummm .... hi *shyly smiles* ..... hhmmmm ..... so people seem to talk a lot on blogs but for the life of me I can't find anything to say. I know I will say lots once I get going but it is just the starting! So I am over weight and I want to lose another 10kgs to get to goal weight (of 69kgs) and I am sick of starting WW and then falling off the wagon. I am doing WW at home with old books from years ago and generally find it good. It has helped me lose the last 16kgs and I do know that it works but at the moment I have no stickability and need a bit more motivation. Actually what I really need is either a good kick up the arse or a good slapping. Either gratefully accepted! I need to get going. I love it when I am exercising, sticking to points and keeping on track but lately I find it so restricting at the same time. My biggest problem is that I have now dropped down to 20 points per day! I feel like I am now going to starve to death because I am eating 2 points less per day! Please! I know that this thinking is just stupid! 2 points is like 2 thin slices of bread but I still can't get over that hurdle. I don't use my points wisely at the moment and then I am starving at night so pig out. Once I am over my points for the day I think 'fire truck it' and pig out even more! God! So I am starting this as part of a new start ... this is the beginning of the end of my weight loss journey. I need to do this. I am worth it and bloody hell I am going to make it to goal! So my plan for this week starting Saturday 20th August: - Go to the gym twice (yes I just recently joined a GYM - too exciting) - Walk for at least 7 hours during the week (an ave of 1hr per day) - Do exercises at home with swiss ball, weight twice during week - Track everything I eat - Use no more than 140 points for the week I am going to honestly attempt to do this and am going to try and achieve each goal but I am not promising anything. If I fall off the wagon I am just going to jump straight back on and forget about it. I am worth this and I do want to do this. Must dash

Hi .... just testing

to see how this looks :-)