So This is What if Feels Like

Hmmm ok. Where were the fire works? Where was the drum roll? What about the hunky men in short shorts delivering the results? Where was the crowd waiting in anticipation? .......

Well they definately weren't in my fucking bathroom in front of the scales! I have a confession .. just a small one ... NO I didn't eat a whole pizza or a whole bag of fruit bursts .. I had a quick peek on the scales this evening before I jumped in the shower...

I was 74.8kgs. And this is what it feels like? I have less than 10kgs to go - that is a 10kg bag of potatoes minus 1 spud! That is 20 blocks of butter minus enough to bake a cake .. that is only twice the birth weight of C2 (big baby .. another story all together!) .... that is only 9.8 fucking kilos!

9.8kgs and I will be at my goal weight. Hmmm.

So I am going to celebrate with a small home made pita bread pizza worth 6 1/2 points! Plus the cold cold beer I had in the hot shower (does any one else just love doing that!) Oh the life I lead.

xx

PS M - great idea get boys together and then we can have a girlie night .. but maybe I should leave them in NZ and come and visit you!

PSS I dunno about the whole name change thing .. what is wrong with Fat Nancy? If I weigh in the same or better on Friday (my official weigh in day) I will consider changing it. Ok?

The Gods

of the scales are smiling on me today. But I am not religious so did double check the scales about 10 times. I have lost all of the weight I put on over the weekend plus a wee bit more. I am now sitting on 75.2 kgs - the lowest I have been since I started on my new fandangled electronic scales. I am happy. I am .2kgs away from having lost 20kgs and am .2kgs away from having only 10gs left to lose. Yay for me. I am so close to be under 75 kgs ........

Instead of thinking 'ah weigh day over lets eat' I am more determined than ever to keep on going. Imagine being 74kgs .. wonder what it feels like!? I am going to eat so well this week and keep on exercising and then hope for the scale gods to be good to me next Friday.

I am working over the weekend so am going to stock up my desk up with lots of low point foods and a good book (am doing faults and apparently very slow!).

xx

I Definately

Have got my groove back today. Maybe it is the sunshine today (even though I have been in my air conditioned office all day and haven't seen it!) .. maybe because every one is cheerful and bouncy at work .. or maybe cos the scales started going down again this morning. I really don't know what it is but I am brimming with positivity today. It is a great feeling. I love being back on track .. even only I could bottle this feeling when I am about to overeat and then I would know which option to take.

It is a beautiful day today so I am planning on finishing work in just over an hour .. rushing home .. putting on shorts and a singlet and going for a walk along the beach. Will try to drag the boys out but think the BF wants to do more work on our bbq (try and get it finished before we move in February!). I had a big lunch today so for some fun I am going to see what sort of meal I can create using 0 points ... I am thinking along the lines of an egg white omelette or scrambled eggs and a big salad. I might put a baked potato with it but not sure at this stage. Sounds so yummy. Fingers crossed it is still this warm later and then I might eat outside as well. Even with a baked potato I will still be under points but I have decided to start getting more creative with meals that are points friendly - there are a lot out there but I just have to start creating them.

Getting a new washing machine tomorrow fingers crossed. We do so much washing it is not funny and the machine went 'pop' the other day and does no washing no more. We have had to take all our washing to my Mum and Dads house and Mum has being racing around doing it all. I hate not having a washing machine - it sounds silly but remember I am the person who loves doing housework! .. on that train of thought am planning on doing some spring cleaning in the evenings too.

C2 had cross country yesterday and got 4th so he goes into a higher competition next week. Yay C2 - I am very much the proud mother :o) He is so fit and athletic and always has boundless amounts of energy. I am so jealous. BF and I were amazed at the amount of parents who let their children opt out of sporting events at school. What are these parents teaching their kids about exercise and being healthy? And if you let your children off one thing it extends to everything else to do with school. C2 loves sports but even if he didn't he would still be made to get out and do it - in our house it is not an optional activity. Shit even when he broke his arm and was in cast on and off for over a year we still couldn't stop him swimming .. we just used to wrap the trusted plastic bag and tape round his arm and off he would go .. ok he did look kinda funny swimming around with his broken arm stuck up out of the water but he still did it .. and he still carried on going to tai kwon do (when he wasn't being operated on) we just had to pad his arm up and warn everyone not to connect with it.

That is my mini rant over and done with.

No other excitements really so I should go and do some work :O)

xx

Starting to Get ...

My Groove Back... well I damm well hope so. Haven't made the best food choices but have stuck to points and took the whanau out for a walk for an hour and 3/4 tonight. Have been doing M's arm exercises off the Absolutely Fabulous website ... oh my god! My arms hurt. Have been doing them as I am walking around the house (I must look like a right dick but my arms will be strong soon and if anyone laughs at me I will punch them!)

I did put on weight over the weekend and it is not falling off again as quickly as I thought it would but I am just keeping on going on my four steps and hoping for the best. I know it is going to come off but it is just a question of how long it is going to take ... how long is a piece of string.

Tomorrow I am going to make healthier food choices as I have been eating most of my points on unhealthy food at lunch and then having a small tea. Not the best idea so tomorrow I am going to change that.

Very quick post tonight but wanted to tell you all how much I do appreciate your support. I have been a moaning old cow lately and I apologise. Thanks for everyone who has been leaving me lovely and supportive comments ... you guys are all wonderful and when I reach my goal weight a lot of it is going to come down to your guys ..... I would never be the weight I am today without this.


xxx

Time to Get My Arse into Gear

Really. I have given myself a big talking to and have decided that eating crap food all weekend and drinking way to much is not helping me. I feel fat today. My scales are telling me I am fat today. I still feel like pigging out but have had my soup and toast for lunch, am drinking lots of water and have bought no money to work. No money = no spending on junk food = happy (but hungry) Nancy!
My weight loss has stalled lately and I have been convincing myself that I have just plateaued and that maybe I have lost enough. I have not lost enough. The truth (I have decided) is that I have been doing a half arse job at this for months and it is pathetic. I want to get in to the 60s .. I want to get to 65kgs .... I have to keep on doing this. But if I am to keep on doing this I need to do it properly.
People at work are using me for inspiration. They are asking advice on how to lose weight and I am giving it out but I am not doing it myself. I suck! I am going to be an inspiration. I am going to lose weight and I am going to get into a bikini next year. Damn!

So my plan for this week ... back to the basics:

1) track everything I eat
2) stick to 20 points per day or less
3) weights - 3 times this week
4) walking - everyday - average of 1 hour per day

Easy as 1.2.3 (or 4! as the case may be). I am working this weekend (both days) for the first time ever so that should help my eating! Yay!

I am determined to get into the 60s by Christmas but am aware that if I carry on eating like I have been over the weekend I will be in the 80s .. Nancy that is the wrong direction! Sheesh!

Best go and do some work and drink some water .. I am not hungry .. I do not need junk food!

xx

Depressing and Boring

I was kinda scared to do this. I feel like a failure. It has been 3 days since I tracked. I haven't walked. I am drinking beer and eating wedges (that I stole from the boys tea). I have lost the plot .. and at the moment I don't care ... I just wanna be like every other person who eats and doesn't worry about there weight. I know that people at my work place look up to me because I have lost weight ... I appreciate that they (like today) ask my advice and pick my brains about losing weight .. but today I just wanna be me ... Nancy Bouverie (don't ask!).

My favourite ex workmate has been sick for a while. They thought he had water on the lungs but kept him in for tests for a week. He hasn't got water on the lungs he has lung cancer. He doesn't smoke, he seldom drinks, he is 50ish but still goes for weekend hikes and plays tennis. How the fuck does that work? I am trying to figure why the hell I am working my arse off trying to improve my weight, my health and my diet. He was healthy, fit and had a great diet and he has cancer. People can chain smoke all their lives and by cancer free. It sucks. It is depressing and when I found out I cried.

Yesterday I had the meeting in Dunedin. Great. BF and I also went around the schools of his children. At 10am we wanted a stiff drink. We spent four hours in the afternoon going through shit with C1s mother. I lost my cool. BF lost his cool. She didn't give a shit. She is still wanting C1 back. C1s lawyer said it is never going to happen. C1's mother wants to have access with C1 - for a trillion reasons we have said no. c1's lawyer and social worker agree with us. We still have to go through the reasons with her. It is tiring and depressing. We just go round and round in circles. Six months later we will go around the same circles .... but six months later after the court order lifted we will have to go round and round in circles in the family court.

I have eaten heaps, I have drunk heaps, I haven't wanted to diet. I never want to have to watch what I eat again. I am tired and I am sick of it ... but I can't fucken give up. I can't just give up like this .. just because I want to eat everything in sight doesn't mean I can give up .. I don't want to be a failure. I want to be Nancy Bouverie the one who lost the weight. Nancy Bouverie the one who achieved her goal and showed everyone else that I can stick to it .. I can do it ... and Nancy Bouverie the girl who wore a bikini in front of Italian Stallions

Fuck it .. I am back on my diet again tomorrow ... but tonight I am going to drink, eat and cry :-(

'Inspirational'

... well I don't know about that ... I certainly don't feel inspirational but apparently I am. Wow! While I was cooking my two thin plain slices of toast at work this morning for breakfast I got told by J (a woman at work) that she has a big box under her desk filled with Weight Watchers snacks. I am allowed to go help myself because I have inspired a handful of people around the building to try and lose weight. I was then told (again) how well I am doing and how well I look.

Must have been the day for compliments as my boss told me I was looking fantastic. I mentioned that I seem to be stuck lately and she told me I was doing so well and to just keep at it. And then to top all that off a work mate of BFs saw BF and I going for a walk yesterday and the workmate commented on how good I was looking. Lucky BF isn't the jealous type!

I must admit today I am really feeling rather blah about this. I read Miss Nicky's blog this morning and I totally agree with what she says about this becoming an obsession. Weight loss is all I talk about as well and I spend a huge amount of time updating my blog, reading and commenting on other peoples. I am forever thinking about what I have just eaten, what I am planning on eating and what I want to eat. I am always thinking about where I can fit in my next walk or my next weights session. It seems like a full time occupation at the moment. It is bloody hard work and time consuming but it must all be worth it. To be told I am inspirational must make it worth it.

I just think I am feeling frustrated at the moment. I am not losing weight as fast as I want. I feel like I am just getting stuck and then I get worried that I will never be able to get under 75kgs. But then on the other hand I seem to be getting constant reminders lately that I am doing ok and that I have changed my lifestyle for the better. Some are rather weird ones - a bag of potatoes that has been in our pantry for a month. We used to go through a 10kg bag at least every two weeks. Everytime I look at the potatoes I think of all the other meals we have been having and how much healthier we have eating. I also think of Sunday when I wasn't tracking points and we got back from Christchuch at 6.30. It would have been so easy to stop for takeaways on the way home but I instead stopped off at the supermarket and made lamb chops, vegetables and cauliflower cheese for tea. These are surely all indicators to show that, even though the scales are not dropping like I want them to, I am doing ok. So I just have to keep on telling myself that it is all worth it.

xx

Weekend Update

Wow! What a cool weekend we had - we had such a great time that none of us wanted to come home! Tried to do some shopping but didn't really work. Couldn't find anything that I liked really which was rather depressing. Ending up buying a nice camesole top and some cool boy leg knickers (ones with ducks and the other with turtles! so cute!). BF and C2 were really good about being dragged around all the clothes shops so I was very lucky. The weird thing about clothes shopping lately is I can't judge my size at all. BF and I would both look at the same thing and I would decide I would try something on - I would grab a size 18 or XL and he would grab 14's and mediums! He was always closest! My brain has obviously not caught up with my body yet!
Today I went and bought some more new jeans and a pair of board shorts. I have not owned shorts for years so quite nerve wracking ... but does mean I can work on my tan! Yay for that.

Eating wasn't too bad over the weekend. Considering I actually gave myself the weekend off I actually didn't do to badly at all. I didn't really pig out at all (except for a few ice creams) and just unconsciously made healthy choices with my food. It was a very good feeling! The scales were slightly up this morning but I am not stressing cos I am determined to have a fantastic week this week.

So my new goal is simple - I want to be 65kgs at Christmas. I am not going to make this complicated - I am simply going to stick to my points each day and exercise as much as I can. I am about to write a list of easy, yummy and point friendly meals that I can use as a guide for teas to try and spice things up a bit. I seem to be sticking to the same food at the moment and am getting bored with it. I love stir frys so am going to get those cranking again and am thinking panini breads, buns, meats and salads. Am also going to try out some new recipes too.

S0 that is it really. I have a busy week again. C2 is at tai kwon do two nights this week so I have two evenings of walking (while I wait for him to finish). BF and I are going to counselling tomorrow evening which will be interesting -it isn't counselling as such - we are just off to see a counsellor to get parenting advice. And then of course the big meeting on Thursday. I will have Thursday as a point free day but will try and eat as healthy as possible again.

Had better go and do some more work! (and look forward to my lovely evening walk at 6)

xx

Weigh In Results

What a beautiful Friday morning .. no I am not on drugs! Just enjoying the fact that it is most definately Friday, I have just eaten my chocolate fish (given to me every Friday by my boss), the sun is shining and tomorrow I am going away! Yay!

So I decided to get serious with my weigh in results and post them every Friday morning. Now that I have got new fandangled electronic scales there should be no more excuses ... so results .... drum roll please ...

Weight Today: 75.4
Total Lost this Week: 600 grams
Total Left until Goal: 10.4 kgs
Total Left to Loss Before Christmas: 5.4 kgs

A loss is a loss. Yes it is!

On Monday I am going to be re-motivated (oh break time! rushing over to the book store to see if the new Weight Watchers magazine is out! I have waiting for it for ages and everyone else seems to be able to get copies of it!) ..... back (and magazine there so hope it is quiet today and I can get stuck into it) and will start my challenge to be into the 60s by Christmas (which is incidentally my birthday also!

Have decided to have a wee bit of a break from counting points this weekend seeing I am going away. I find it really difficult to guestimate the points I am eating when I eat away from home so I just going to try and take healthy options and hope that it doesn't work out too bad. It will also be a nice break to not have to worry about eating for two days.

Had better go! Phones have just got busy so no time for this and no time for my magazine :o(

Have a great weekend everyone

xx

I am back ....

Wow. Sorry for disappearing of the face of blog land for nearly a whole week! Shit!

Congrats to Katey who is pregnant! Yay! And for Miss Nicky who has now lost 40kg! Double Yay. And for everyone who has had a successful week. Triple Yay! :o)

Thanks for all the lovely comments regarding the end of the relationship between my favourite jeans and me. I do miss them. It is casual Friday at work and I am so tempted to wear them but I can't ..... soo ... I might wear my new jeans instead (I want it known that they will never replace my old jeans though).

So I have been really busy this week. We are going away for the weekend which is awesome. Can't wait. C1 is going to a military type camp 3 hours west from where we are - he will be flying planes, shooting guns etc! Oh my god! And BF, C2 and I are going to Christchurch for the weekend to catch with an old friend of mine who has come back from Australia on holiday. I love going to cities - deep down I am a country girl but there is something about all the people, the noise and the smell of cities that I enjoy (but only for a brief time!). Am planning on doing a wee bit of shopping too! Yay

So I replaced my old dial scales last week which is why my weight looks like it has gone up. I now have my mother's old electronic ones which seem to be doing well. They weigh heavier than my old ones but are so much more accurate.

Eating has been going ok this week, exercise has been a bit down, vegies and fruit intake is up and coke still non existent! Cool!

I have decided I want to be in the 60s by Christmas - not such a hard call really but will be quite tough seeing we are getting into the social season. It just feels like I have been sitting in the mid 70s for ages and the mid 70s are so last week! I just want to start moving in the right direction again! I need a new challenge but have been so busy this week I haven't really had much time to think about it. I will have a long think over the weekend and start on a new challenge on Monday morning ...

I am typing furiously at work at the moment so better stop this and get back into it! Have a huge list of things to do at home before we go away this weekend and an even bigger list of things to do before we go to the meeting for the children next week ... will try and update more later but at the moment that is it from me

xx

Mourning Time

So .. (I always say so SORRY) ... I got pulled over by a lady at work today ... she said very quietly ... "darling you need to get some new jeans - the ones you are wearing are far to big for you" .. someone else said "your jeans are excessively big" ....

.. I don't mean to undermine anyone who has been through the grieving process properly and who has actually lost someone that they love(my disclaimer)... at the moment I have to joke about things or I will cry (long long story - and nothing to do with this) ...

Denial .. I denied the fact that my favourite jeans are far to big. I do have to pull them up every two steps I take. I call them my 'street sweepers' cos when I go for a walk in them I can hear the stones rattling (the ones I have just swept with the bottom of my jeans!)

Anger .. I am in the anger stage. Why did my favourite jeans take so little to grow to big for me when they sat in my wardrobe for months and I couldn't fit them. I have only had such a short time with them and they are my favourites ....

Bargaining .. if I eat that packet of salt and vinegar chips my hips might get bigger and I can wear them just one more time ... please jeans let me wear you one more time?

Depression .. oh god what I am going to wear if I can't wear my jeans one more time ..... What am I going to do?

Acceptance .. Ok my favourite jeans in the whole wide world are too big for me. I have to buy another pair (of a size I never thought I would ever get into again .. but I want it noted they will never, ever replace the affections of my favourite ones) ... my favourite jeans are far to big for me .... it is over ... the relationship btwn my favourite jeans and me is over . O.V.E.R...

what am I going to do??

I have had such a crappy eating day today... not bad ... I argued again with BF about children .. again ... we haven't even made it to the meeting yet and we are stressed out already. It suxs. So today my eating has consisted .. actually I am not going to tell you ... something about having to admit you have used 16 more alcohol points than food points .. but still remained in the points allowed for the day .. actually 2 food points and 12 alcohol points if you want to be exact.

I have started spring cleaning my house which is a sure sign things aren't good. I don't want to go into detail. I don't want to sound like a drama queen .. I just need space to think...

.. I need to grieve for my favourite jeans .... (and think)


xxx

PS am updating links tomorrow... so you will all be included .... :-)

No Title Today ....

Another busy day at work. I am now officially 'multi-trained' which means I can go into both inbound queues at a time.. which means more work and more calls! Damn. I took so many calls today it was unbelievable. I felt so drained at the end of it! I drank so much water because I was so thirsty from talking so much! ... but I still went home and talked all evening. Weird that.

I made myself a new weights programme this morning which focuses on toning my arms. I took arm measurements today for starting points so I can judge the improvement (if any) - have decided my arms are the first body parts that I want to tone so am going to work on those for a while and see how it goes. I am determined to be able to were singlets and small t-shirts this summer -the rest of the my body looks not to bad in them but I hatem how my arms look. Even had a strange idea last night - my weights are sitting by my computer desk so while I am reading other peoples blogs I do exercises with them! Strange eh (but if it works I don't care how dorky I look!).

Results for today:

1) track DONE
2) stay under 20 pts DONE
3) weights DONE .. yes that is right D.O.N.E. .... done!
4) walk DONE went for an hour and a half walk in the freezing cold with BF, C1 and C2 after tea
5) water DONE
6) 3 servings NOT DONE
7) healthy snacks DONE
8) plan daily food DONE
9) no diet coke DONE
10) update journal DONE

9/10 Wahoo.

I got some new scales today (electronic ones from my Mum) - got sick of my stupid old dial ones. These weigh my heavier but hopefully more accurately. Will try them for a while and see what I think.

Don't really have much more to say really .... sorry if you popped in for some excitments! You are reading the wrong blog for that!

I am off for a hot shower then going to hit the sack! So tired

xx

Spots, Post Holes and the End of Relationships ...

Yes C2 still has spots! They are not clearing up as fast as they came unfortunately ... He isn't finding them nearly as itchy any more which is good though and he does generally seem cheerful. He even mentioned to today that they are kinda funky!

So BF is out of town today unexpectably for work. Bummer. He is in some remote random place boaring foundation pole holes! Too exciting! C1 has ATC (Air Training Corps) tonight and BF usually takes him. I had to take him in at 7 (drove home from work and turned straight back around again to take C1 in) which was fine. Rung BF to see if he would be in town at 9 to pick him back up again! Could I get a straight answer! I don't bloody think so! If Margaret thinks her DH has problems asking for directions mine has problems with answering simple yes/no questions! Bloody frustrating! So all evening I have not been sure what to do .. cook tea? No - won't have enough time to cook if I have to get C1, should I put C2 to bed? Not sure - if I have to pick C1 up I will have to wake up C2. Finally at 8 I rung BF to see how he was going! He still couldn't give me a straight answer until I pointed out that he is at least an hours drive from town and that C1 needs picked up in one hour! 'Oh yeah? Is that the time? Perhaps you had better drive back into town and pick him up'! Fire Truck (for sensitive ears!).

My Aunty is at home looking after C1 and C2 for the holidays. She received a phone call from C1's social worker today asking if BF and I have split up. WTF? Apparently C1's mother is still trying to get custody of C1 back so is now saying that BF and I are no longer together and that BF isn't capable of raising C1 by himself. I rung the social worker this morning and we had a nice long chat which is good. I assured her that BF and I were still very much a couple this morning when I dropped him off to work but did suggest he could be like some males who say they are going away to get milk and come back 30 years later! You never know. We had a talk about the family group conference coming up as well as a few other issues. I always feel so much better after talking to her. She has complete confidence in our ability to raise C1 (way more than we do!) and thinks we are doing a great job.

Mum is still working through my pile of fat clothes doing alterations so they fit me. Every time she finishes a pair I look at them and think 'that is so small I ain't gonna fit my fat arse in those' but they actually fit everytime. It is fantastic. My clothes feel so tight on me though after wearing trousers they I have to pull up after taking a few steps!

Any ... today's results .....

1) track DONE
2) stay under 20 pts DONE
3) weights NOT DONE
4) 1/2 hour walk DONE - 45 minutes today
5) water DONE
6) 3 servings NOT DONE
7) healthy snacks DONE
8) plan daily food DONE
9) no diet coke DONE
10) update journal DONE

8/10 - always the same two letting me down - fruit and vegies and weights. I am going to have to work on these ones!

So that is me for the day .... pretty boring huh!

Am off to wait for my tea to cook! I am starving!

cya

xxx

Not Much to Say Today ....

Had a busy day today .. so many calls at work it was unbelievable.

C2 is still covered in spots but is feeling a lot less itchy today which is good.

1) track DONE
2) under 20 pts DONE - 18 1/2
3) weights NOT DONE
4) walk 1/2 hr DONE - 45 mins before walk, 2 x 10 min walks at breaks
5) water DONE
6) 3 servings - NOT DONE - close!
7) healthy snacks DONE - no snacks
8) plan daily food DONE - did change it through the day a bit but basically had it planned
9) no diet coke DONE
10) update journal DONE

8/10

I have decided to focus on toning my body. Will look on the internet tomorrow at work and find some exercises I can do at home that will tone the bits of my body that I want toned ... arms, butt, stomach and thighs. I have also decided that from next Monday (when boys go back to school and my normal morning routine resumes) that I am going to measure my arms, push myself really hard with my weights and check the results. Part of my lack of motivation is that I don't think I see an improvement.

Apart from that not much to say. BF and I have a meeting (Family Group Conference) in two weeks time for his children so we have to write a list of things that the mother is doing that we are not happy about .. might take some time ... so we thought we would sit down together after the boys are in bed and make a start.

Catch yas 2mrw

xx

Och Spots!

C2 woke up with spots this morning. Not pimple spots and not just a few of them. He hadn't been feeling himself yesterday and was a bit itchy (he does have quite bad excema so we didn't take much notice of that) but this morning he woke up and had spots on his face. We had a look and he actually has spots from head to toe. I have never seen anything like it! I called the Healthline but they weren't really that useful ... 'do they look like chicken spot spots?' .. 'I dunno I have never seen chicken pox' ... 'you don't have to take him to the doctor but you can if you want to' .. that sorta thing. We took him to the doctor! Apparently it was an allergic reaction to something he has eaten or a combination of what he has eaten. He was given some medicine and we were sent on our way. He was very miserable over tea tonight and has been very itchy throughout the day. I hope he manages to get some sleep tonight :O(

Eating has been a bit of a mixed bag this weekend. I have made some bad choices but made up for it with my teas (which has included home made pumpking soup and two big plates of vegetables). I haven't tracked all weekend which I regret and have probably eaten about a million points each day. But on the bright side I went on a huge walk today and mowed lawns/weeded gardens yesterday, I have also eaten 3 servings plus per day, had heaps of water and still haven't touched diet coke. I don't feel guilty about it though. I know I can make up for it this week and writing it down here doesn't make it seem so bad. The scales are still going in the right direction and tomorrow is the start of a brand new diet week for me ..... things could be worse!

Daylight savings started this weekend which is great! I love daylight savings. Walking in the dark doesn't do much for me .. I feel rather uncomfortable about it so having more daylight hours has got to be a bonus.

Thanks for all the comments about goal weights. I haven't made a clear cut decision yet but have decided to get down to 65kgs and reassess how I feel. I do have to tone up my flabby bits though which will make a huge difference to how I feel about myself and how I look. I am determined to get back into my weights programme. Any other suggestions for toning flabby bodies are gratefully accepted!

Before I wrap this up for the night just thought I would spare a prayer for all the people killed, injured and affected in the Bali bombings this weekend. It never ceases to disgust me what others can do to innocent people :O(

xxx