My First Photo On This!

Meet Daisy and Zulu ... aaaaawwhhhhh ....
now I might post some more photos .. some might even include me *gasp*

Wonderings .....

I really can't think of a title today. I am tired but wanting to wait up for BF. He is out of town for work this evening so not sure when he is getting home. I feel lost without him this evening (pathetic eh!)

Results for today:

1) track food DONE
2) under 20 pts DONE 19 1/2 used
3) weights NOT DONE
4) 1/2 hr walk DONE 1 hour and 5 mins walked today
5) water DONE I am still drinking water - ever since I gave up coke I am so damn thirsty!
6) 3 servings DONE (just)
7) healthy snacks DONE
8) plan daily food DONE
9) no diet coke DONE 4 weeks tomorrow
10) update journal DONE

It must be my week to receive compliments about my weight loss ... got a few more today. I am learning to accept them a bit more and am starting to think I actually deserve them! I am not vain but I am starting to like the way I look .. ok I have still got a long way to go and a lot of bits to improve on but I am getting there. I had a shower tonight and looked at my hips (sorry too much info eh) and actually thought 'shit where have I gone' .. I didn't look thin but I am so much smaller than I used to be. Sometimes I don't see how much I have lost and other times it hits me. Don't you think it would be really interesting, for just one day, to go back to the weight we started at! Now then we would always notice the difference!

I got asked again about my goal weight and how much more I am going to lose. I had originally set it for 75 .. then 69 but I think I want to go lower than that. I can't imagine my body being the way I want it after I have lost another 5 kgs (I weighed in at 74 this morning). And to be honest at the moment I am finding the whole points/exercise thing brilliant. I am actually really loving it and it is really working for me... so a big part of me is scared that when I hit my goal weight I won't know what to do anymore. So (my stupid part of my brain) is telling me that I should just keep on losing! I told someone today I was going to lose weight until I disappear! I know I am going to have to figure out the whole maintaining weight thing soon but at the moment I am just happy to keep on losing.

It is even weird that I am starting to think about how I am going to maintain my goal weight. I started this year thinking I was going to be fat forever and weighing over 20kgs more than I do now and now I am wondering how light I am going to go!

How did everyone else chose a goal weight? How do you know how thin you want to be? ....

I am off to bed ... will warm the bed up for BF

xx

More Babies

Today we welcomed Zambia (daughter of Venus) and Zeke (son of Uganda) on to our wee farm. BF is learning all the farm stuff for when we partly take over next year so he got the pleasure of putting the ring on Zeke and the ear tags on both of them tonight!
Zulu is looking as gorgeous as ever and was tearing around the paddock :o)

I had a 'blah' today. I just didn't seem to muster any enthusiasm for the day what so ever which is very unlike me. Maybe it was because it was cold and windy today ... maybe I just got out of bed on the wrong side. I dunno.

Results for the day:

1) track DONE
2) stay under 20 points DONE
3) weights at home NOT DONE
4) walk 1/2 hour DONE - 2 x 10 minute walks at break time plus 30 minutes after work
5) water DONE
6) 3 servings NOT DONE
7) healthy snacks DONE
8) plan food DONE
9) no diet coke DONE
10) update journal DONE

8/10 .. not bad at all .....

Today I was walking through the call centre at work and I got pulled back. A lady that works there thought she would mention that it was time I got some new jeans that actually fitted me! Or she suggested a belt might be handy. She reckons I am turning into a low rider .. you know the thin wee guys that walk around with their jeans down past their butts and their boxes hanging out! I told her I would consider her suggestions cos I didn't want everyone seeing my pink poka dot boy leg knickers! She also told me I was doing well and looked fantastic. Awh .. we love her!

Mum has fixed a couple of pairs of trousers so hopefully tomorrow I will find something to wear that might actually stay up .. Oh the joys of losing weight!

Best I go have a shower and tuck myself in bed .. I feel absolutely buggered

Catch yas tomorrow

xx

Me Again ...

I promised I would try and come back to post my results of my 10 point plan and I have!

1) track food DONE
2) under 20 pts DONE ended up on 17 1/2
3) weights at home NOT DONE need to get back into this!
4) 1/2 hour walk DONE 1 hour 35 mins
5) 2 pump bottles water DONE
6) 3 servings NOT DONE had about two
7) healthy snacks only DONE small buns before tea cos tea late .. actually tea hasn't been eaten yet!
8) plan daily food DONE organised tea this morning, made lunch this morning
9) no diet coke DONE
10) update journal DONE

8/10

Am pleased with that. I really do have to get back into weights but was doing them in the mornings before work. During the school holidays BF and I are sharing a car into work which means I am in town an hour earlier. I do use this time to go for a walk but find that is means I don't have time for weights in the morning. I am doing exercise though and my clothes are feeling baggier and baggier so gotta be good.

Have a great night everyone

Catch yas tomorrow :o)

We Have Babies!

Actually there is only one of them ... and we didn't have them but BF and I happy just the same .... BF and I bought two cows a few years ago (Daisy and Jack). Daisy had a boy calf last year called Yellow (they live on my parents farm and we have adopted their idea of each year calling the calves after a different letter of the alphabet so we can figure out how old they are). We were not certain that Daisy was pregnant or when she was going to calf so were discussing what we would do if she didn't (as in give her another year to try and then send her away). If she was in calf we, while the other cows are due anytime now, were not expecting her to until next year.
Mum has a lovely habit of everytime a cow calves she rings up BF and yells "boil the water" down the phone whereas he hangs up and races around there. This time we were out walking so they drove around trying to find us. It was our Daisy and by the time we got up there (2 minutes away) she has already calved. So we are now the proud owners of a gorgeous wee girl cow called Zulu. Both Mother and Baby fine!

C2 woke up on Saturday and his ear ache had all cleared up. He is so resilient to bugs it amazes me. He is just coping with a very wiggly tooth which he is trying to wiggle out so he can get another visit from the tooth fairy! I will be broke at the rate he is going (second one in a month)!

I didn't eat as well on the weekend as I wanted to and didn't exercise as much either (although I did do an hour walk on Sunday morning) but have started the week anew and am doing rather well .....

Monday

1) track -DONE
2) under 20 pts - DONE
3) weights at home - NOT DONE
4) 1/2 hr walk - DONE actually did 1 hour 45 mins
5) 2+ pump bottles water - DONE
6) 3 servings - DONE
7) healthy snacks if nec - DONE
8) plan daily food - NOT DONE
9) no diet coke - DONE
10) update journal - NOT DONE - far to busy .. seriously!

7/10 ... not bad ....

I am not doing too badly today but will update that later on.

I have been getting quite a few compliments over the last few days. A woman at work stopped me and asked me what I was doing because she said I was 'disappearing' ... how can you lose someone my size!? My Aunty is looking after C1 and C2 during the school holidays and hasn't seen me for a couple of months. She told me I was too thin now. WTF! She also asked me how I was doing it. Maybe I should have tattoed on my forward "I lose weight by watching what I eat and exercising my arse off" ... seriously everybody does know the concept behind weight loss surely but yet everyone is always asking me. I walked into work today and two people stopped me and said 'we were just talking about losing weight and you have lost so much .. how are you doing it?' Now I don't mind giving people advice but these same people asked me about 3 months ago and I told them!

Took my fat clothes to Mum's on the weekend and she is looking at taking them in (a lot!) so I get more wear out of them! Oh my god they are massive. I had to constantly hold them up so she could pin them. It is amazing how much weight I have actually lost and how many clothes I have 'outgrown'. When I finished I put my trousers back on and she rolled her eyes and commented that they needed done as well. I have saved one pay of fat jeans just for me so I can compare with my clothes when I am at goal weight. One of Mum's friends gave her a pile of trousers for me to fit into. They are size 14 but all Just Jeans or Jay Jay trousers so quite small. I can pull them up but not zip them up so am hoping to fit into them by Christmas. My wardrobe is looking totally chocker at the moment!

I started my first day on credit control yesterday so was very nervous. My second call I got abused! Yay! Told my BF and he wanted the number so he could call him and abuse him. Told him things don't really work that way!

So that is me for the moment! I will pop in later and update how I went for today if I have time. I have so much to do tonight for work and can't seem to get any done as the damn phone is always ringing.....

Will catch u later

'Oh do you know the muffin man ...

The muffin man, The muffin man
Oh do you know the muffin man
Who lives on Drury lane?'

(The Muffin Man J. W. Elliott)

Yes! Muffin Day at work... who in Gods name came up with that idea ... there were muffins for miles - bacon and corn, triple chocolate, banana and maple syrup ... so many muffins! The kitchen was full of them. People were eating them all day. Every where you looked someone was holding one! Damn. Guess how many Fat Nancy ate???? Zip, nada, zilch, zero! That is right. I didn't eat a single one ... I took a banana muffin without the muffin! Yay for me!

Another yay for me .. I hauled my fat arse out of bed this morning at 6am and went for a walk for an hour in the rain. It was beautiful. The river was so calm and the sea was so rough and loud.

So results for the day

1) track DONE
2) under 20 points DONE
3) weight at home NOT DONE
4) walk DONE
5) water DONE
6) 3 servings fruit/vegies DONE
7) healthy snacks if nec DONE
8) plan food for day NOT DONE - not quite - didn't work out what I was going to have for tea until I got home
9) no diet coke DONE - 3 weeks today!
10) update journal DONE

8/10 ... not bad for a fat girl!

Hopefully finished my training at work today. It was very stressful - I had to take calls while my boss was sitting beside me listening to my calls. I was so nervous it wasn't funny. I survived though and the rest of the afternoon (while I was training with someone else) I actually felt like I was getting the hang of it. Sometimes it almost sounds like I know what I am doing. God forbid!

School holidays started today officially. C2 has unfortunately got a bad ear ache which developed just before tea. He couldn't even eat the fish and chips that beloved BF bought home for him. Poor wee thing was in tears at the table. We gave him a panandol, sent him for a hot shower and he is now tucked up in bed with his teddy (Doctor Oscar) and his beanie on sound asleep. I hope it has cleared up in the morning. C2 doesn't often get sick and when he does he bounces right back so hopefully fingers crossed he will recover quickly this time as well. He has great plans for his holidays which revolve around playing with the millions of pieces of lego he got for his birthday recently. I am not sure what C1 is going to do in his two weeks off. As much as we have encouraged him to find a hobby and find interests he finds everything boring. This generally means that all weekend he will hang around everyone else and won't actually find himself something to do. We live in such a lovely place that we find it quite unbelievable that there is nothing he wants to do. He has swimming, biking, fishing etc on his doorstep and he finds them all boring! After much deliberation we have decided that we have encouraged him as much as possible, made every suggestion under the sun to give him ideas of what to do so at the moment it is up to him. It probably sounds mean but we just carry on doing what we have to do in the weekends in the hope that he will just decide to go out and do something.

BF and I have a quiet weekend planned (as per normal!). Going to my parents tomorrow to do fire wood and look at the new house site. Their house is being started in a couple of weeks so the driveway and the area for the house was dug out today. While the contractors were putting the driveway in a few pine trees had to get knocked down so BF and my Dad will be doing the manly thing with the chainsaws. Apart from that we are just going to be doing the normal - washing, housework, mowing lawns etc. I am planning on getting a couple of good walks in this weekend too.

So that is a wrap for me tonight ....

better go to bed and get some sleep ...

catch yas tomorrow

PS in case you were wondering about the fish and chips that the boys had for tea... I had a few chips and a home made pita bread pizza. Took my points up to 20 for the day. So much better than normal when I would have a piece of fish, heaps of chips wrapped in bread.

'All That You See is Me ...

.. and all I truly believe .... that I was born to try'

(Delta Goodrem Born To Try)

I must be a female .. I change my mind every two goddamn seconds. I am not really happy at the way my weight loss is going. It is inconsistent because I am inconsistent with what I am doing. I am sick of it. As I said I am the queen of excuses .. and since I have said that I have been still making excuses everyday! I am tired of it. I am sick of feeling like I am not achieving this.

I have sitting on my desk my bikini which I picked up today. I am never going to get into that if I keep on going like this! And that is quite a depressing thought. It feels like I am giving up even before I start. So today I am still diligently tracking but am also back to counting points. I know that the points system works for me (as in I lose weight) so that must surely out weigh the disadvantages. I have to give this a go and I have to succeed. As the title says I was born to try

So revised (revised) 10 point plan:

1) Track everything I eat
2) Eat under 20 points per day
3) Do weights programme at home everyday
4) 1/2 walk or more every day
5) drink 2 pump bottles of water
6) eat 3 servings of fruit/vegies a day
7) if snacking keep to fruit/vegies
8) plan what I am going to eat in the morning and stick to it
9) no diet coke
10) update journal everyday

This is the plan ... I start tomorrow ..... (I am at home now.. work too busy so didn't have time to finish this .. rude!)

I have tracked and counted today and have only used 14 1/2 points (5 of those were cold beers tonight ... yum...) so think that was a really good start. I am full but feeling really positive. I have made some revisions to my 10 point plan ... the main two being that I want to plan what I eat in the day time to make sure my points are spread over the day and I am now going to allow myself snacks as well in the daytime - I have noticed that breakfast helps but in the evening when I finish at 6 I am starving so want to eat when I get home before tea... you know the story ... I snack and think wtf I may as well eat more for the snack.

A real achievement today at lunch .. BF and I usually end up going to a cafe for lunch and as much as decide I am going to eat something healthy I never do .. today I had a bowl of tomato soup and a small piece of french bread toasted. I bypassed the butter so was only 3 points for my lunch. Hot, yummy, low on points and better than a pottle of chips anyday!

I tried on my bikini tonight ... well only the top half. It does fit (and is a size 14) but not sure still ... I know that really I have hidden myself in 'fat clothes' for years so me wearing anything slightly revealing is a shock to the system. I am the girl that up until this year would try and cover myself as much as possible and hear I am attempting to wear something that would fit in my boot! Really! But then in saying that I didn't look at myself in the mirror and think 'what the fuck' ... BF and I admired my shoulders which started poking out of my body and my back which isn't fat at all .... I think I may get used to it. Of course a tan on my white wee body will do wonders :0)

Enough verbal diarrhea. I am off to bed. Planning on getting up early and going for a walk and doing my weights so best I am not too late getting to bed...

catch yas tomorrow

Fat Nancy xxx

No title - no time for title ......

Morning

Very quick update today ... running late for work and so much to do ......

Yesterday;

1) walk NOT DONE - only managed 3 x 10 minute walks in breaks. C2 didn't go to tai kwon do as planned so I didn't do my walk. Excuses excuses! Today I am going to achieve this!
2) weights NOT DONE - getting flu still and feel like shit in the morning. (Good excuse again Fat Nancy)
3) breakfast DONE
4) track DONE
5) eat 3 meals DONE
6) 3 servings DONE - 3 bananas, cauliflower
7) drink water DONE
8) no weighing NOT DONE
9) no coke/alcohol DONE
10) update journal NOT DONE - cos I left it too this morning

So ... summary ... I am not going to lose weight like this. I have given myself a talking to and I need to improve this if I am going to get into a bikini for Italy (I am actually picking up bikini today!) ........

I am lazy this week and haven't been doing my normal exercising .. ok the weather has been shocking and I am contemplating getting the flu but I should still be doing it anyway .....

I am off to have a very successful day .. I may not get all my 10 points achieved today but I am going to start getting myself into this again ........

catch u later for another update ...

Have a good one! xxx

'Oh You Gonna Let It All Hang Out ....

Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round'

(Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls)

I am so annoyed. As you know I am being a bridesmaid for my sister next year. I have always said I am happy to do that but I am not going to wear pink. So I have been looking for dress ideas and emailing them away to her for the past few months and have never got any feedback from her. She has now decided I will be wearing a black dress but with a hot pink stole and pink jewellery. I am not impressed. She emailed me today and said that I am dragging this out by not emailing her back (she only told me about the pink yesterday!) and that it is her day and I am going to ruin it! Great! So now I am the bad one and I feel pissed off ... so what do I do when I am pissed off ladies and gentlemen .... I eat and after I have finished eating I feel like a fat bottomed girl. My pig out was only a few buns with cheese and tomato in them but I still feel fat and yucky now. Damn

And to make it worse the weather was still terrible today. Still trying to snow. So I didn't do my one hour of walking (although I did manage some) and I couldn't get my lazy fat bottom out of bed this morning so didn't do my weights. Double fantastic! I have snacked between meals and I have weighed myself twice.

1) walk NOT DONE - managed 35 minutes. Too cold and yucky outside
2) weights NOT DONE - too lazy to get my arse outta bed
3) breakfast DONE
4) track DONE
5) eat 3 meals NOT DONE - emotional eating = snacking
6) eat 3 servings fruit/vegies DONE
7) drink 2 pumps water DONE
8) no weighing NOT DONE
9) no coke/alcohol DONE
10) update journal DONE

6/10 ... room to improve for tomorrow. I am going to try to have a clean sweep tomorrow and get scales down for Friday.

I have still got so much reading to do for work but tonight I am going to be bad and skip it. I am going to go to bed and read a book and fingers crossed I won't wake up tomorrow and find the whole world has turned pink. UGH!

cyas

'Putting On My Daytime Eyes ...

A good enough disguise until I get some sleep'
(Bic Runga - Get Some Sleep)

I can't sleep. I feel so awake. It is blowing a gale outside, and raining and today we even had snow falling (but not settling). The fire is going beside me and everyone else is asleep. This is Nancy time and I am relishing it. But I should be going to bed soon - work tomorrow.

I never mention my work not because I hate it (because I don't) but just that really it is just a job and it probably doesn't make for exciting reading! I work for a small company in town that is in the communications business. I am currently working on an inbound queue for a power company. Really only started on this a couple of months ago so am the 'new kid' there. For some reason my team leader has put me into a new position very quickly so I will be multi tasked and be able to do many jobs in that are (which is good for me). I have the feeling that the other people who have been there a lot longer than I have are resenting me for this which is a bit of a worry. So I am currently in training at work and there is so much to learn and so much to remember. My brain hurts and I have information coming out of my ears! I don't have much time to learn and I will be flying solo at the end of this week. I hope I don't fuck up! (be positive Nancy!)

I thought I was so clever this morning - I parked my car up hill from work (about 10 minutes away) so on the way home I would have to walk up a steepish hill. It snowed on the way back to the car! Oh yes it did! I live near the coast and I don't expect snow! C2 was at tai kwon do so while I finish work at 6 I go for a walk until 7.30 when I pick him up (saves me driving home and then going to pick him up again - we live 15 minutes from town). Usually I do really enjoy my walks but the weather was so appalling I considered driving home. One word kept me walking tonight.. bikini! Damn thing hate it already! I walked up and down the main street (under the cover of the shops) for an hour. In the end I did really enjoy it and was so pleased I did it.

Round up for the day:

1) walk 1 hour DONE + some! 1 hour and 35 minutes to be exact! Yay!
2) weights DONE
3) breakfast DONE - only a banana but breakfast all the same!
4) track DONE I am so enjoying the tracking business lately
5) eat 3 meals only DONE
6) 3 servings DONE
7) drink 2 pump bottles water DONE
8) no weighing NOT DONE
9) no coke/alcohol DONE
10) update journal, be positive DONE

Pleased with that. I ate my 3 servings of fruit and vegetables! I am so proud. Had a piece of chicken schnitzel tonight and .. believe it or not .... the rest of the plate was filled with carrots, cauliflower and brocoli (with a wee bit of cheese sauce). I am not a big cauli/broc fan but it was delicious. At the start of the year I would have had a huge plate of chips with chicken and no vegetables. Funny how things change.

I am off to read in bed ... hopefully BF has warmed the bed up! It is bloody freezing here tonight! Ugh! Fingers crossed for a nice morning tomorrow so Fat Nancy can shake her arse and walk (with a $100 note M!)

Cyas :o)

'And He Still Gives His Love ...

... he just gives it away
The love he receives is the love that is save
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
A human being that was given to fly'

(Pearl Jam - Given To Fly)

One of my favourite songs. It uplifts me and motivates me. I must go home and listen to it.

I am into motivation at the moment. I did something completely, totally and utterly different today. Something that the old Fat Nancy would never have thought of. Something the Thinner Nancy still has trouble grasping! Beloved BF and I went window shopping today ... actually we knew what we were looking for ... and I actually layby'd one ..... guess what it was!?

(I will tell you later!)

The weekend was not the best food wise but not the worst either. I have diligently tracked everything I have eaten and the exercise I have done so will catch up on my 10 point plan here ....

Saturday

1) walk 1 hr DONE - walked 2 hours
2) weights DONE
3) breakfast DONE
4) track DONE
5) eat only three meals NOT DONE - snacked
6) 3 servings fruit/vegies NOT DONE
7) drink water DONE
8) no weighing NOT DONE
9) no coke/beer DONE
10) update journal NOT DONE

Sunday

1) walk DONE - 1 1/2 hour walk + 1 hour bike ride
2) weight NOT DONE
3) breakfast DONE
4) track DONE
5) eat 3 meals NOT DONE - snacked!
6) 3 servings fruit/vegies DONE
7) drink water DONE
8) no weighing NOT DONE
9) no coke/beer DONE
10) update journal NOT DONE


That doesn't look to bad at all actually. I am doing not to bad today either although I have weighed myself and not sure if I can manage 1hour walking today. I really want to but it is persisting down on and off outside and today at lunch time there was even some snow! Brrruuuurrr!

Am not finding weighing myself such a problem lately. I see the numbers and am fine with it. I don't let my moods revolve around them which is good.

BF and I had a lovely weekend. We were up early (like 7!) and achieved lots of things we have been putting off for ages. We also went on two big walks together and took C1 and C2. C1 hates walking and makes it obvious but he is old enough now that we just let him slouch along if he wants to. He does make it quite obvious that he finds it boring but we just try to ignore it and enjoy ourselves (otherwise I get really pissed off with him!)

I went out for a bike ride on C2's bike on Sunday morning. Managed an hour which was great. I really really enjoyed it and am planning a repeat performance this weekend. My bum is so sore though today!

My focus this week is to keep on tracking in my wee book (I love my wee book now), make the right choices at meal times and keep on moving my fat arse!

because Ladies and Gentlemen .... today Fat Nancy bought herself something .... yes that is right. My name is Fat Nancy and today I bought a bikini! AHHHHHHHHHHHH everyone run for cover! It is size 14 and next year in Italy I will be wearing it! (my BF is so excited) ..... so at the moment I need all the exercise I can get....

Catch ya later to update my 10 points for today ....

'You Come to Me with Excuses ...

Ducked out in a row .. you wear me out .... you wear me out' (REM Country Feedback)

I am sick of making excuses for myself. I have a great excuse everytime I over eat or go over points or don't exercise. I am the Queen of Excuses. It is pathetic. I have given myself a good talking to and I am over it. No more excuses! Bugger it!

I have been humming and harring about whether I want to go back to points or whether I was doing ok enough with my 10 point plan to not go back to counting points. I have decided not to count points ... at this stage. I was doing well and found it so much easier. This has to be a lifestyle change and counting points for the rest of my life is not what I want. I can lose weight by eating three meals a day and chosing what I eat carefully. I have also been lucky lately in that I have been doing so much walking that the odd eating binge doesn't make a difference to my weight.

So here ... (thanks for the name M!)is my .... Italian Challenge (how catchy a name is that! How amazing is M!) :

1) walk 1 hour each day
2) do weights programme at home every day
3) eat breakfast
4) track everything I eat in my new notebook
5) eat three meals per day only - no snacking!
6) eat at least 3 servings of fruit and vegies every day
7) drink at least 2 pump bottles of water per day
8) no weighing (except Fridays)
9) no diet coke or alcohol
10) update my journal daily, catch up on other peoples journals and be positive.

There! What do we think of that! I think it it will be great!

I have been doing my own weights thing at home this week and has been working really well. It saves me money, I can fit it in easier and I enjoy it more - also means no more excuses!

It has been two weeks since I stopped drinking diet coke and now I am giving up the beers! I love beer and drunk quite a bit on the weekends but have decided to give it up for the moment. Two reasons involved - 1 saving money and 2 obviously bad for my health.

I am loving my exercise at the moment. I have stopped doing walks in breaks lately but really miss it so starting up again. C2 wants to go for a run with me this weekend so will give that a go and also want to get into biking to work once a week (15 kms each way!) but will have to time how long it will take me otherwise I may be late for work.

I had better go do some work. BF is organised to meet me at lunch time to walk today which is great.

Will catch u later with my results ... PS starting Italian Challenge tomorrow!

Have a great Friday!

Free Your Inner Soul and Break Away From Tradition ..... Lets Get Started!

(Black Eyed Peas - Elephunk!) .....

Hi .... I haven't fallen off the planet! I am still around ... just been busy is all! This is going to be a very brief entry today as I am nearly about to head off to work. I am still not dressed, haven't done anything around here but I am making a new start today so wanted to get this down so I can carry on with the day.

I have been eating ok the last fews days and have kept up my exercise but feel I am not giving this everything I have! I achieved my trip yesterday but I have to keep that off or carry on losing weight until the 1st of November which is my official weigh in. I am close to the 20kg lost mark and my BMI is almost in the healthy weight range so I have to keep going on this. I have also decided that in Italy next year I am going to wear a bikini! I have never worn one before but thought it was a good goal. BF thinks it is a great goal as well! (males!)

So I am going to go back on the points for a few weeks. Am going to update my 10 point plan today at work (if I have time) and revise a few of them, knock a few out and add a few more.

I am pumped, I am psyched. I am so close to my goal weight and I have to make it! I want to be in the 60s by Christmas (which is also my 29th Birthday!).....

I had better get dressed!

This One Goes Out To the One I Love ....

(R.E.M - the best band in the world!)

C2's birthday today. My wee man is 11 years old and ready to take on the world. Where did the time go .....? *sniff*



HAPPY BIRTHDAY XAVIER!

Love Mummy x0x0x0x0

No more Matchbox 20 today .....

Last night our family reached a 'crisis point'. Things were not looking good. A lot of things were said - some necessary. Others totally unnecessary. We yelled, we argued and we cried.

Today we woke up and we still all loved each other. We still wanted to be together. Things don't quite look so bad today. The Matchbox 20 song has been put away until the next time.

The only crisis today was that C2's tooth fell out. It had been sitting rather precariously in his mouth for the last fews days and today it called it quits. He is happy - he has a gap to show off to his grandparents and he still believes in the tooth fairy if he thinks he can get a couple of dollars out of it :o)

Sum up of yesterday:

1) breakfast DONE
2) no weigh DONE
3) exercise NOT DONE - did some walking but not an hours worth. I am not worried. I am constantly on the move during the day anyway so happy to have a few days off.
4) gym NOT DONE - I have to get back into this! I so enjoy it when I get going. My main mission is to go twice next week.
5) track DONE - I am writing my tracking on wee bits of paper but decided as of today I am going to borrow Emily's idea and find a nice notebook and put it all together.
6) water DONE
7) no coke DONE
8) 5 servings NOT DONE - again this is ok. Yesterday I wanted to eat every piece of junkfood within a 10 kilometre radius. I wanted to have fish and chips for lunch yesterday and I actually pointed the car in that direction and went off and did groceries instead. I had a plain cheese roll for lunch.
9) only 3 meals DONE - again happy with this. I actually walked up to the snack box yesterday - stood in front of it with the coins jangling in my pockets, gave it the mental finger! and walked off with nothing. Go Nancy
10) be positive DONE

7/10 - not bad considering the day I had!

.... so I used to work in the office of a timber, posts company. 99% of the staff were males. In my boyfriends job (truck driver) he still keeps in contact with the people I used to work with. I used to get on particularly well with the foreman and while we don't often see each other we communicate between my BF. The foreman asked my partner how I was going the other day and my BF commented that I had lost a lot of weight (see he can be lovely) ... the foreman was like 'oh that is good' and my BF commented 'yeah she has tits now'. Oops! Now I once commented to my BF that I had have tits now (although obviously I always have) and that they have never been that noticeable because I had a huge stomach and spare rolls .. he just thought that piece of info would be good to share around. Another conversation the other day with one of the boys went along something like this:

Boy: 'I have seen Nancy walking around quite a bit lately'
BF: "yeah she is trying to loose weight'
Boy: 'A few people have commented on how good she is looking'
BF: 'yeah she is looking great ............................'

and wait for it!

BF 'she has tits now!'

Oh my god. Hello! I do see these people sometimes. Really I am just going to put them in my head with all the other compliments. It is just how boys talk I suppose and it is nice that other people have started to notice.

Now the important news of the week .... I weighed myself yesterday. I was totally not sure what to expect. I wasn't sure if my 10 point plan was going to make a difference or not. I didn't feel like I had lost weight but I had. My scales are dial ones remember (and very unreliable) but the results helped me to decide to keep on doing my plan for another few weeks. I am actually really enjoying it and not feeling so such a complete failure if I over eat.

So weight as of yesterday 76 1/2.

They say that setting a goal is one of the biggest factors in weight loss. Many people lose weight so they can conceive, many before their wedding day, many because the doctors have told them the risks if they don't lose weight. I have had a goal set to me by someone else with a reward at the end of it. I didn't know whether to mention that here because I didn't want you to think I was losing weight for someone else or to get something that I wanted. I do really want to lose weight and I have for years but this was too good an opportunity to miss. Really the reward, while being fantastic, is not the only reward really in the end. The feeling on a spring day of being in a small t-shirt and slouchy jeans running around playing cricket with your boys makes it all worth it. The feeling of looking in my wardrobe and knowing that every article of clothing in it will fit if I put it on is a reward in itself. Being complimented on how great I look, while feeling uncomfortable with it, is a reward in itself. Being 76 1/2 kilos is good enough for me .... but ... here goes ... drum roll please ...

... if I lose another 1 1/2 kilos in the next 2 months ... in May next year instead of being in New Zealand suffering the cold I will be sitting on the southern coast of Italy in a bikini sipping a cocktail! How is that for a motivator! My sister is getting married there, I am being a bridesmaid and WHEN I get to 75kgs I will have the trip paid for me by my family. If I don't I have been told the weights at the gym might have got me in good enough shape to flap my arms until I make it over there!

Anyway had better go off and do something. So much to do today and sitting here typing on this thing is not going to get me anywhere.

Catch yas later...

You can tell things are bad ....

when I hunt through my CD collection for 'the song'. The song I always play when I am sad and down about my relationship with my BF. I have just done that and I will play the song over and over again until I go to work in 20 minutes and it will be loud. It will try and block out the things going on in my head.

Matchbox 20 - 'when you are gone'.

I don't want to go to work today. I want to lie in bed listening to this song on repeat all day. I want to stay away from everyone and lock myself in my house and wallow. I don't want to have to sound cheerful to people all day because I am not. I am sad. Fuck it all I am sad :o(

And I really don't know what to do about any of this. But I know that I am tired of the constant struggle of having to raise a mixed-up, chewed-up and spat out family. It is too hard and I don't want to have to deal with this all the time. It is all just so complicated, and so messy and so tiring.

I am just tired.

I had better go to work (if I am lucky I will have to time to listen to my song one more time!).

Sorry about my moaning. I should be grateful ... I know I should ... today it is just too hard.

catch yas later

Don't feel like a title tonight ...

Can't think of anything to say tonight really. I had the yummiest tea tonight - stir fry with heaps of veges - peppers, mushrooms, onions, brocoli, carrots etc - , chicken and crunchy noodles on top. It was so nice and quiet healthy too I think.

Here is how I went today:

1) breakfast DONE
2) no weight DONE - I nearly caved in but told by my BF that weigh in is on a Friday!
3) exercise NOT DONE - I had a day of rest as planned but did miss going for a walk
4) gym NA
5) track DONE - thought seeing I had quite a good day food wise I would share what I had:
breakfast - fat free yoghurt with one banana chopped into it
lunch - small serving of macaroni cheese and a bowl of fruit salad
tea - stir fry as mentioned above
6) water DONE
7) no coke - sheesh DONE
8) 5 servings DONE - easy today!
9) only 3 meals DONE
10) be positive DONE

I don't need to really explain the positive side to my weight loss - a whole selection of 'thin clothes' in my wardrobe that I can now fit into.

So tomorrow is weigh day and I am nervous. I am 100% sure I have gained this week. Tonight I feel like a blob - maybe cos of all the stir fry in my belly! I have actually got used to not weighing myself and it is actually very nice. My days now don't revolve around the numbers.

I am off anyway. Things to do and I don't really have anything to say.

Cya

Wahoo!

Oh my god! I have no idea what my weight says today but I feel a bit of a celebration going on!
My wardrobe (and I am sure a lot of people know what I am talking about here!) is full of clothes. Absolutely chocker! but half of them have always been clothes that are too small for me (that I have always wanted to thin into) and the rest were either clothes I wear (a small amount) and others that just sit in there cos I don't really like them but can't be bothered moving out! .. you with me on this one so far girls!? .. so today I tried on my clothes and guess what? They still don't all fit! But guess what? That is only because now I have a huge pile of clothes that are too big for me but the 'small clothes' all fit on my fat arse! Ok some of them I still won't be wearing until I thin down a bit but they all goddam fit! They fucking fit.

Do you want to know the funny thing? After having them in my wardrobe for so long I don't actually like them anymore and probably still won't wear them .. but I can if I want to! I am not being picky but these include jeans that I wore 10 years ago so they are looking very ancient. I will probably delegate them to 'round the farm' clothes.

So today in the true fashion of a woman celebrating ... I am going shopping.

Anyway 10 point plan results for yesterday:

1) eat breakfast DONE
2) no weigh in DONE
3) walk DONE - walked 2 x 10 mins in breaks plus 1 hour after work
4) gym - DAMN NOT DONE - I actually went there and was so looking forward to it but there was a granny convention doing aerobics in the weights room. I really was guttered! (although I am sure it is good that old people stay fit .. I even suggested it to my BF when I got home)
5) track everything I eat DONE
6) water NOT DONE - I just couldn't drink that much yesterday which is weird for me
7) no diet coke DONE - coke? what is coke? :o)
8) eat 5 servings NOT DONE - as I said early I need to work on this!
9) eat 3 meals NOT DONE - I snacked - but I am not worried, I don't feel guilty but am going to improve on that one today
10) be positive DONE

I am going to have an exercise free day today. I overdid it on my walk/run the past few days and yesterday my legs were so sore I found it difficult to even walk down the stairs at work. I have been doing so much walking lately I don't think it is going to hurt to take a day off .. in saying that I probably will still do my walk around the block at work - it is part of the day I really enjoy.

I had better dash off to work .. want to buy some fruit for breakfast before I start (that will help my five servings per day!)

Have a great day everyone .... and as my t-shirt says (that I have never had the guts to wear) ....'love yourself'

:o)

Every Day is a Good Day ...

Even when it is a shitty day.

My ex-father in law (well actually ex boyfriends father) told me that it stuck .... he is so cool! He always has really positive things to say. He smokes a pipe so always plays with that while he talks and waves his arms around in the air. He has two sons - his version of sex education was sitting the boys down and saying ... 'if it feels good don't do it'. That pretty much sums it up. I bought him square wiskey glasses for Xmas one night and we stayed up until 4 in the morning, drinking wiskey, and figuring out what was the best way to drink out of a square glass! I tell you it is an art. Out of that whole family I miss and love him the most. He knows who he is!

So today was a shitty day.

I will update my goals first just to get them out of the way ...

1) breakfast DONE
2) no weigh DONE - scales? what scales? I am so getting used to that one .. although they are currently under the seat in my BF car!
3) exercise DONE - 30 min walk/run this morning, 3 x 10 min walks in my breaks, plus about an hour after work! I love the feeling of running by the way! It is such a great feeling (although my legs are sore at the moment .. and my feet... but I am fine!)
4) gym N/A - tomorrow - I am so looking forward to it!
5) track - DONE
6) water - DONE - 2 pump bottles
7) no diet coke DONE - getting easier and easier!
8) eat 5 servings fruit and veg NOT DONE - damn there I go again! I need to work on this
9) eating three meals a day NOT DONE - hey! don't think the worst .. I didn't snack between meals ... I didn't seach for the snack box at work ... I haven't had tea so I have only had two meals instead!
10) be positive ... DONE ... well trying my best ....

When I was overweight I had never ever thought I would get thin again. I thought I was destined to be Fat Nancy for the rest of my life. I am not. I now know I am going to get thin again. It may not be in the time frame I thought or the way I imagined but god bloody damn I am going to reach my goal weight. Once I get there I am going to stay there. You just bloody watch me!

I got compliments at work. Actually a discussion was started about weight loss and how well I was doing. Someone commented that even though she sees me every day she still notices the difference. Another girl asked how I did it. I said ww and exercise. She was like 'really I thought you didn't actually lose weight from weight watchers'. I told her I did. They commented on how thin my legs looked. I think they are still fat. I need to get like Margaret who just says 'thank you'.

So discussions haven't been flash in our house .. in fact not existent but tomorrow is another day .....

cya

Fat Nancy

Good day ... bad day

hmmm....well.... yeah....ho hum...

one of those days really.

Nothing like an argument at home to ruin a perfectly successful day :-(
Achieved a lot of my goals today:

1) breakfast DONE
2) no weighing DONE
3) exercise DONE - 4 x 10 min walks in tea breaks, lunch and before work + 1 hour walk after work! Yay! My walk after work also including running which I was pleased with!
4) gym N/A
5) track DONE am munching on my tea while I do this .. have tracked the rest of the day and will add this when I am finished
6) water DONE 2+ pump bottles today
7) no coke DONE
8) eat 5 servings fruit/vegies NOT DONE - but planning on making a fruit salad for pudding which will pretty much achieve that
9) eat only 3 meals DONE
10) be positive DONE

when I was 95kgs my whole body ached. I never realised it until I actually lost weight and now I couldn't pin point what ached .. I just ached ... I read somewhere that someone said their body was 'noisy' while they were overweight and that pretty much sums it up. Now by body is quiet and the only noise it makes really is after I exercise too much!

So if I can boost up my fruit intake my having a huge fruit salad that will give me a clean sweep for the day! I am pleased with that.

Even though I decided I would track what I ate but not count points I can't stop doing it. I am always counting up how many I have used in my head. It got me thinking. Are we going to be a generation of point counters.... 50 years down the track are we going to be telling our husbands/partners that we can't have an extra potato cos it will go over our points for the day? Or we can't have two many drinks at the senior citizens get together because we would have to earn bonus points to work it off!
It is a good thing and a bad thing really - means I can't be free of points because I am still working out my meals (in my head) around them but is also a good thing because something on this journey must have stuck in my brain. I now know (whether I choose to listen to myself or not) how much I can actually eat in a day.

So me and my beloved BF argued this evening. He has now gone for a walk (after we finished yelling at each other). As per normal the argument was about children - his C1 and my C2. I hate it and it is pointless. Tonight really started because he doesn't back me about in front of C1 - I know it is because even though C1 is 14 he has only started living with recently and BF still wants to be a mate with him as opposed to a father but it is still frustrating. I get told I don't discipline C1 enough but when I do they stick up for each other. It also seems that when C1 is being told off my BF will bring something up that either I or C2 has done that we shouldn't have. We aren't perfect and we don't claim to be but I don't need that happening everytime C1 has done something wrong. Hopefully he comes back soon so I can try and make peace tonight :-(

I had better go and potter round here for a while, make some fruit salad then go to bed with my book.

Catch yas later.

Weekend Update .........

*yawn* ... monday morning already! I have been very slack and haven't updated this all weekend so I have to my 10 goal challenge update twice ..... bugger ........

SATURDAY:

1) eat breakfast - DONE
2) don't weigh - DONE
3) exercise - NOT DONE
4) gym - N/A
5) track - NOT DONE
6) water - NOT DONE
7) no coke - DONE
8) eat five servings fruit/vege - NOT DONE
9) eat 3 meals only - NOT DONE (damn trumpet icecreams for supper!)
10) be positive - DONE ................


ok ... so that wasn't that great! I didn't overeat though foodwise so I was quite pleased with that ... Sunday was an improvement ............ really! ... wanna see?

SUNDAY

1) breakfast DONE
2) no weigh - NOT DONE - weighed at my Mum's house
3) exercise - DONE and made up for Saturday - mowed lawns (1 hour), walk (1 hour)
4) gym - N/A - I am so looking forward to going on Wednesday - I am pumped
5) track - NOT DONE
6) water - DONE - drunk glass after glass - it was so hot while I was mowing!
7) no coke - DONE!
8) eat five servings of fruit/vege - DONE - potatos, pumpkin, carrots, kumara, peas and corn!
9) 3 meals only - DONE
10) be positive - DONE

see ... much better ... I am so liking my ten goals .... it makes such a difference. When doing the points plan if I fucked up for the day I just continued eating badly because I had failed my goal for the day. With this idea I am never going to be a complete failure and that keeps me positive.

It is raining today and I have my walking clothes ready for this evening. C2 has tai kwon do tonight so I will spend the 1 1/2 walking and will incorporate a few jogs in there as well. I am itching to get started this week cos this week is going to rock!

By the way I earnt $2.20 over the weekend for my shopping spree .... I am going to put another bit on my side bar so I can keep track of how much I have earnt.

Last thing - two things that I couldn't/wouldn't do when I was 95kgs that I can do now ......

watch the diet ads on tv without feeling guilty .. you know the ones! 'Lose 10kgs for $ ....', exercise ads with tiny models on it in skimpy clothes playing with exercise machines ... I used to see them and think that I should be doing something about my weight but I never did. I used to feel bad and they used to make me feel like shit. Now I see them and I feel great. I am never going to look like one of the tiny models ... but I am going to look bloody good and I am going to be happy with the results!

wear togs. Togs used to be my enemy. We had a hate hate relationship ... actually we didn't cos I didn't even own a pair. Now I do. And I wear them. It is great. I am not the best swimmer but I do enjoy the fact I can put them on and join the rest of the family in the swimming pool. I am quite keen to get into swimming as well (after I have mastered jogging!) ..... and my aim next year is to buy a bikini. Oh yes a bikini. Not bad for a fat girl ...

:-) ... have a great Monday!

I love Saturday mornings ...... sometimes ....

Yucky day today weather wise - cold and drizzly ... and guess what? My beloved BF's children are coming for a visit today! We were supposed to be taking them swimming but the pool is closed today for the swimming club! Fantastic! So we have had to change our plans around totally and have decided to take them outside with the soccer ball or cricket set (and jackets on) and maybe take them for a big walk. The drizzle seems to have stopped (fingers crossed) so we are hoping it stops for long enough to get them outside.

C2 loved his camp. He has come back with so many stories of the wonderful things he got up to there .. and a huge suitcase of dirty washing! BF and I had to laugh - they were told they could not take money or lollies to camp as they would be provided with good healthy camp food! They have fish and chips for tea one night and ordered pizza in the other night (what a huge amount of pizza!) and then for breakfast the last morning they had ice cream and jelly! I am so pleased I did not go - I would have come back three times the size!

So without further ado ... my results from yesterday:

1) eat breakfast DONE
2) no weighing DONE - *bow* I am so proud of myself :o)
3) exercise DONE - 45 mins before work, 10 min morning tea, 30 mins lunch time
4) gym - N/A - starting next Wednesday :-)
5) track - DONE
6) water - DONE - three pump bottles
7) no coke - DONE - yay for me ....
8) eat 5 servings fruit/vege per day - NOT DONE - ate 3 - two servings of fruit and one of veges - quite a lot for me but not enough!
9) 3 meals per day only NOT DONE - damn! while waiting for our chicken patties to cook for tea I had a bun to snack on! I was so close but I have to be honest here otherwise it isn't going to work .......
10) be positive ..... DONE ..... one thing I didn't do when I was 95kgs .....
... wear feminine clothes - I lived in tracksuit pants and big t-shirts. I had nothing 'girlie' to wear if we went out anywhere. It was depressing. Now I live in thin jeans, girlie t-shirts and I actually own skirts .....


So that was my day yesterday. I earnt myself $1.40 for my 69kgs shopping spree! Yay! I am going to make a goal list too on my blog this weekend. I am planning on buying a funky belt when I get to 75kgs ...... and then set some more goals for other weights .....

But at the moment I have to do housework and get ready for the influx of children!
Have a great day everyone!

GO ALL BLACKS :o) ... in there nice shorts!

did I really just ....

say I was going to give up diet coke ... think I am going into withdrawl already :-)

My Plan ...

... so this is my idea ..... I am not saying it is going to work but I am going to give it a try ..... I am going to set myself goals (some based on things I need to improve and others that are things I am doing but need to be made into a habit!) and keep on repeating them until they get ingrained in my tiny little head!

1) eat breakfast - a big one for me - I never ever eat breakfast and I should. Everyone tells me that this is what I should be doing and I don't. I am not a breakfast person but I am going to become one! Even if it is just fruit I am going to do this.
2) I am not going to weigh myself! I can't keep on having my moods dictated by the damn stupid blasted annoying numbers. My scales are dicky old dial ones so not always accurate but my whole day still seems to revolve around them. I don't know when I am going to weigh myself again (cos really I should be - I am trying something new so do need to see if I am getting results) - I am just going to try to hold out for as long as possible. There are other ways of judging my weight - measurements, how big my clothes are and just how I feel. Deep breath ... be brave ... count to 10 .... I can do this one!
3) exercise every day - min of 1 hour walking each day - I gradually want to build this up to 1 hour jogging ever day so have to start (again) mixing jogging with walking.
4) go back to the gym - I have been slack on this one since being sick. I need to get back into it - I enjoy it so much and love the feeling that I am toning my body. It is so nice to be doing something just for me! My goal is to go during my lunch hour twice a week - Wednesday and Fridays! (excluding tomorrow cos I am still coughing like ... a ... coughing thing!)
5) I am going to track everything I eat but not count points. I am going to get diligent and write down beside what I am eating why I am actually eating it - boredom, hunger, stressed, pissed off, drunk :o) This will hopefully make me aware of why I am eating and when - once I have this sussed out I will hopefully be able to control what I eating at certain times of the day.
6) drink water - not so difficult on during the weekdays but seemingly impossible during the weekend. I don't know why this is but may have something to do with having diet coke in the fridge at home. Goal - drink two pump bottles of water per day ... which leads me on to the next one ...
7) my other addiction ... (aside from scales and housework (and my beloved BF!)) ... diet coke ..... NO!!!!!!!!! actually yes! I am going to try and give up diet coke .. I drink far to much ... how much! Way to much! It is bad for me. I should be drinking water and really I am wasting far to much money on the damn stuff! I want to save for my 69kg shopping spree!
8) eat 5 servings of fruit and vegetables each day whether they are frozen, canned, fresh (or mouldy ... eeeeewwwwwwwwwhhhh). I need to start having better food choices. I found with points plan I could eat the right amount of points but what I was actually eating was appalling.
9) eat only 3 meals per day - some might argue and say that is bad for me, that I should be snacking between times but I don't want to - I find one snack leads to another ... to another ... to another. 3 balanced meals per day - I am also going to use a smaller plate for my main meal to see if that will make a difference to my weight.
10) be positive - each day in my blog I am going to list one thing that I do now that I didn't do at 95kgs! I want to not only focus on how far I have to go but how far I have come.


This looks good .. this looks achievable and looks like something I can manage ... but is still going to be a challenge. I have decided I will give myself 20c for each goal I achieve each day - 50c is too much really (if I achieve all goals each day) .... this I will put into a cow moneybox I have at home and, as I said earlier, I will spend it when I have reached 69kgs! I can't wait ......

I am off to bed now. I am feeling so positive about tomorrow. I can do this ....... I so bloody can do this!

catch yas tomorrow ... the first day of my 10 step programme! :o)

Spring Has Sprung!

Wow we all seem so excited that spring is here at last! I love spring .... but then I kinda love every season as well!

I still have the flu - actually took the day off work yesterday (and maybe should have taken today off also). I spent the day with the house to myself, in my fluffy pjs snuggled in bed with the cat. Bliss! Today I am still coughing like mad, my stomach is not feeling very flash and I am tired :-( ... and feeling very sorry for myself.

I have come to a decision about my weight - at the moment I hate following the WW points plan. Prime example today - I went to lunch with my beloved BF and choose a very small plate of macaroni cheese and topped that off with a big bowl of fruit salad. It was delicious and I thought quite healthy (I used to go in there and have a plate of pasta, some pastries and maybe a piece of cake) but I get back to work and I have no idea of how to work it out points wise. I hate that - unless I take the scales with me and actually weigh my plate (I mean please!?) I won't really know.
The other problem is that I go over my points and think 'Fuck I have blown it for the day' and then proceed to really blow it for the day. It happens time and time again and I hate the feeling of being a failure. I don't want to be a failure!

My lifestyle has changed so much this year and I am very pleased with that. There as so many examples (and not just judging by the scales) - I walk everywhere at the moment, I have joined the gym, I would much prefer to eat salad with tea than potatoes - in fact a bag of potatoes will last us twice to three times as long as they used to! - and I am making better food choices. I am pleased with how I am going and with the changes I am making but at the moment I am sick of being restricted by points.

So ... I am putting aside the points plan for the moment and seeing if I can sustain my (genearally) good behaviours. I am going to set myself some easily managable goals and see what happens. I have also decided that I am going to put 50c away for each goal I achieve each day and that will be used for my shopping spree when I reach 69kgs .... YAY

How rude! I have finished work so will have to set my goals later ...... bye for now